I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I party with great urgency now.
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