Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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