Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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