I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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