There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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