Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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