I wish I could punch you in the face.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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