After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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