she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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