So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
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I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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