They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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