i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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