And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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