I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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