She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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