were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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