So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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