He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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