If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize