He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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