You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
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I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
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It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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