Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
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Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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