I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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