and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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