he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
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Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
how does that bad decision feel?
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