Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I need to stop coming to work sober
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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