ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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