wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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