it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize