So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize