I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize