we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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