I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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