Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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