you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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