youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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