If that was your dad, he is hot
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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