Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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