i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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