office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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