I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize