He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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