I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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