WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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