why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize