Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize