if i died would you start the facebook group?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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