i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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