Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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