You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize