You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize